Applying to Residency is Scary.

The Match can be a horribly stressful time. Since submitting my ERAS application in late-September, I find myself thinking about my future in medicine all too often. I’ve worked so hard for the last 3 years trying to do everything possible to increase my chances of matching into my specialty of choice – radiology. To ultimately leave my fate in the hands of total strangers at programs scattered throughout the country is gut-wrenching. Will I get to be a radiologist? Will I have to SOAP into something else? What city will I have to relocate my family to, if at all? Don’t even get me started on how the uncertainty of it all is affecting my wife …

There are many ways to find peace. For me, it’s through my faith in God.

When I catch myself ruminating on these thoughts, I remind myself that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. God has a plan for me, and this is just part of the process. The pain and discomfort offer an opportunity to grow and become a better version of myself.

If I take a step back and analyze my predicament from the third person point of view, I realize that this is a great problem to have. How fortunate am I to be able to say that one of my biggest problems in life right now is that I don’t know what kind of doctor I’m going to be? I am certain that I will be a physician — I just have to survive until May 2025. That’s pretty sweet!

It’s easy to get carried away and overanalyze all the data, talk to my friends about who has interviews from what program, check Reddit spreadsheets to see when interviews are sent out, and so on. But all this stems from a lack of faith. I’m not suggesting it’s easy — not even close! I still do these things even though I know they only fuel my anxiety and fear of not matching. However, I try to remind myself of the plan.

Even if the result is not what I want, I believe that it’s ultimately what I need. Hindsight is 20/20. It’s often easier to retroactively see the blessings that were disguised in perceived failures or other misfortune events. Radiology has become very competitive (a program might have 5 spots available and receive >1,000 applications). I know that I’ve done my best the last 3 years and that everything I’ve accomplished was with God’s help. I must trust that He will continue to guide me.

I had a talk with my friend, Amar, and he said something interesting. He told me that he believes that a person can find their place in any specialty. For example, even if someone didn’t match into their primary specialty choice, there is still an opportunity to orchestrate a career for one's self that jives with their personality and their values, and ultimately still thrive. I think he’s right. It’s also a healthy and positive attitude to have, especially when applying for more a competitive specialty.

Something I find funny is that when I share my fear of not matching with residents, nearly all of them tell me that they were nervous throughout the entire application process and so stressed out that they couldn’t eat or sleep. But then they look at me and say, “Don’t worry! You’ll be fine! It all works out in the end.”

Easier said than done.

I am so grateful to have received interviews from programs that I never thought would have considered me. I am blessed to be in the position I am now, where I will get to rank all my favorite programs that I applied to. It feels silly to even say that I’m afraid of not matching after having received interviews from all the places I wanted, but the fear and uncertainty still bubble up to the surface; nothing in life is guaranteed. However, I find that the more I lean into my faith in God and the process, it’s as if a spiritual channel opens that facilitates the flow of blessings.